Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
