chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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