I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
