I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
