In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
