I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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