On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
