I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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