Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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