Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I am naked and annoyed.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
