There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I party with great urgency now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
