you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
