There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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