you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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