so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
