A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
