i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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