You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
