yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
