just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
