tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
