You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Come on in and take your pants off
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