addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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