Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize