Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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