You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
