Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
