A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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