She said her name was "party"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
