I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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