Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
