She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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