Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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