Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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