I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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