haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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