I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
