i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
