Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
