you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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