I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
