I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
