It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
