Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
