Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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