she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My penis needs a shock collar
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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