Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
