I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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