By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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