there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
