Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
