i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
