so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
