the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
