Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
