your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.