google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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