I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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