I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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