i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
