Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Holy shit dude........stairs
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