I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
