i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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