Umm I'm too high to move.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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