I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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