We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
